That's right, I have finally finished Darcy and Elizabeth. They are all posted and can be read here:

http://conjugalfelicity.wikispaces.com/darcyandelizabeth

The ending, in my mind, is thoroughly unsatisfying, leaving a number of unresolved plotlines and the bitter taste of burnt almonds in the reader's mouth. Much like the first book, Linda Berdoll ( Read more... )

Part Three of the Darcy and Elizabeth sporkings is now available:

http://conjugalfelicity.wikispaces.com/darcyandelizabeth

It's basically all smutty quotes written in a faux-Austen style by someone who should not even be attempting to write in a faux-Austen style.

So, I haven't stopped sporking things, although I have stopped posting them here. Essentially, LJ went through some interesting changes where if you attempting to copy and paste directly from Word into LJ, it froze up and promptly crashed. Not to mention that editing it into an easily readable format was a tiresome chore. So they all went up to ( Read more... )

Chapter Eighty-Four

The single good tiding (to which Elizabeth clung tenaciously) in this time of dreadful sadness was that with Napoleon’s defeat, the fighting had ended and her husband had survived it.

…I thought she was also clinging to the happiness that Jane wouldn’t have to worry about the baby seeing Darcy’s naughtius maximus?

Lydia is upset ( Read more... )

Chapter Seventy-Seven

As Darcy perambulated up the stairs…

Perambulate means to walk or stroll. That’s all. So this sentence could have been written “As Darcy walked up the stairs”, and meant exactly the same thing. It would also be using a word that most readers are familiar with, and not be thesaurus abuse.

Darcy lies down and angsts about Juliette ( Read more... )

Chapter Seventy-One

The single blessing Elizabeth could find of her husband’s absence was that Jane would not worry relentlessly that their unborn child would see its father’s…membrum virile.

That’s digging a little deep to find the silver lining. Also, how many euphemisms for penis do you really need? Also, why, exactly, does Elizabeth even care ( Read more... )

Chapter Sixty-Four

While Darcy’s on his way to France, John and Georgiana are still in Portsmouth. You know, what with the intelligence that they were heading for Portsmouth, it seems logical that Darcy might spend a short while looking around Portsmouth before hopping onto a ship for France. Then again, if he did the book would end right here.

( Wouldn't that be lovely? )

Chapter Sixty

That morning, Darcy wakes up and heads off to intercept Col. Fitzwilliam. He doesn’t want their last words to be in disagreement. Quite reasonable. So he finds Fitzwilliam and they exchange some minor pleasantries about the weather and finally Darcy gives him a letter with the names of a few families in France. He tells Fitzwilliam it ( Read more... )

Chapter Fifty-Five

Elizabeth angsts for awhile about whether Darcy has fathered a child. She feels bad for wondering, but finally decides she has to know the truth. So she decides to figure out the parentage of all the babies born within a day’s ride from Pemberley. She heads down to the rectory and sneaks into the office, finding the registry of ( Read more... )

Chapter Fifty

They call in a ear-doctor to examine Darcy, who is suffering from perpetual ringing in his ears. Darcy is not very happy about this because the man is a Scot, and Darcy’s racist. Or something.

The doctor says that Darcy will eventually regain his hearing. But for now he’s quite deaf. So he sinks into depression, stops eating, and ( Read more... )